overboard...overthrown...

how does one know when u've gone overboard?? especially when u're with someone whom u're very very very close to.....
as usual, feelings, life and the unwritten law that comes wif it makes it difficult to judge, until u've seen the signs and symptoms of the consequences that u have led to happen...

life is shitty!!!!!

i blog to complain about the injustices (as i view it) that has happened to ME and i'm doing just that....

how hard does it have to be to take everything around us lightly? how hard does it have to be to take things that happen positively? how hard does it have to be to be insensitive sometimes?
in other words, how hard does it have to be to just NOT BE SO BLOODY ****ING SENSITIVE about some things?? not everything, just SOME...

i can't deny that i myself have been guilty of these things but i don't think i'm too hard to deal with when it comes to sensitivity...am i??? hhmm....
how am i supposed to deal with this life that has my name written all over it? coz, i don't think i haf the innate ability to handle all these confrontations....i guess just the ability to **** up once in awhile....big time....that i'm on the verge of being overthrown....

miracle, where are u?

who woulda thought...

did u know that stress causes INDIGESTION!!!!

hah.....now who woulda thought that??well at least i didn't....til now that is...

anyhow, who woulda thought that this summer could end up soooo bloody twisted???

the cherry factory (where i'm supposed to be makin tons n tons of money) is soooo annoyingly unreliable...availabilities availabilities availabilities....blergh!

and....who woulda thought that there was such thing as cherry politics??? it is just as bloody manipulative as any politics. and among all people that's involved, how could it be me?!! ME among all the cherry people. gosh, i hate politics. and who woulda thought i would get sucked into one that should never even exist in the 1st place...

on another note, who woulda thought that south east flats (urm, that's my clayton home for those who are unfamiliar with the term...) could end up with sooo many people. ok, i'm exaggerating, but hey, 5 boys and 2 girls is a whole lot for this humble, unbelievably boring place. it's really fun actually...adds more life to the place. and i mean, the good life (u know what i mean kan fawah? ~winks)

by the way, who woulda thought that at 21 your head can get soooo jammed up with financial crisis??? i thought it would be later in life that i'll be stressing myself wif all these worldly material craps but i am so dead wrong. so many things to do, so little time, so little resources... soooo many plans, none that's working up til now....i'm in dire need of a miracle. for god's sake, i'm living on rollies now! yuck..

well, to end this very crappy entry.....who woulda thought that i would actually vent on these annoying bubbles of mine here when i know it really doesn't help at all.....not even a bit....

this delicate heart that dwells within me~

do feelings really spark from this heart of ours? it's really funny that this thought has been stuck in my head since yesterday. it's funnier that it was sparked by a sarcastic remark of an acquaintance of mine (in a very randomly incited conversation). i mean, not that i haven't thought of it before but this time around it's different.....

"what is love? how do u science people define that??"

hhmm...considering that i've been into sciences my whole schooling existence, it is fair to say that i am one of those science people. love, sadness, bliss, heartbroken.... it's a common connotation, "feelings and the heart". but really, in the "science world" the heart just functions to pump blood throughout our whole body, maintaning our other bodily functions. now how in the world can pumping blood be related with the state of being happy or sad?

i once read an article on the correlation of feelings and the heart. there is none.....our feelings are the result of our perceptive sensory inputs, which means that it comes from our thoughts and views of the surroundings that we see and touch and smell....our feelings also has an association with our past experiences....so, in that way, it wouldn't be wrong to say that we can TEACH feelings, rite? being a baby, growing up, it wouldn't be such an impossible and ridiculous thing as teaching the baby how to feel and respond to all the bodily experiences that he or she may haf during its course of growing up.

hhmm....if only it was that simple.....

our own feelings are also dependable on the feelings of others around us. and THAT would be out of our control, wouldn't it? humans, whew....such dependable creatures....we depend so much on others to tell our feelings, to confirm our feelings, to seek a justification for our feelings.... are our feelings as REAL as it seems to be??

does the grey sky really meant to imply sadness and depression? does the soft white satin really meant to imply purity?? i've got to say, the people who made those connotations, bravo.... coz it has been the general stereotyped associations that everybode seemed to make....the hippies wore colourful rainbow-ish colours to say they are happy (high) people....the goths wear black dark colour to say that they are somewhat depressed with the world and way things have been made out to be....

ok now back to the question...how do we science people define LOVE? isn't that a toughie...

LOVE<-->HEART.....

i guess, it is fitrah manusia to want to love and be loved in return (don't we all??) before all that, the attractions that we do feel towards the other person, scientifically, it is called the chemistry between the two. it has to do with the fact that our body does produce a certain chemical, pheromones i think...(maybe..), that causes us to be attracted. BUT, i would say it's different with love....when people love, they want to give and give and give. they want the security, the trust, the life of togetherness.....
and that's why

LOVE<-->HEART....

the heart brings life to our body...when we love, don't we share our lives together with that special person? the coming together of two hearts pumping life through two persons bodies, while produsing pheromones.... that's really something huh?? well, i guess that's LOVE...in very very simple terms....

well then...how do u mend a broken heart?
that's another question altogether now.....

xam's over....yay!!